I woke up early this morning. I can’t explain why, I have nothing important to do. I just did.I feel like I’m spinning my tires, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. What action I take next, I’m at a loss as to what that should be.
Part of me wants to do something drastically different like move to another part of this country, or another country. Just to make some kind of a change to my life! Because the lack of change, the lack of move forward, is fairly unbearable much of the time.
But then I think I could be in this situation anywhere in the world, so I’m probably in the best place at the moment.
I am running out of short term fixes. This morning I made bacon, French pressed coffee and peanut butter toast. I’ve been running. I used to hate running, now I’m starting to enjoy it as a stress relief. Today I go to lope horses again – somehow this is good for me, but I’m not really sure how. Today I found two great jobs that have my name all over them. So I put my best internet face on and apply.
But these are all short lived feel good moments.
So now onto reminding myself WHY I should be thankful…
I am so lucky I have a place to live.
I am so lucky I am healthy.
I am so lucky I am able to get by.
I am so lucky I have a friend willing to care for my horse.
I am so lucky I’m not many other people.
So, I am thankful but I wouldn’t say satisfied.
And I'm thankful for Enya
