Road Rage

So far this summer, I have spent a total of 63 HOURS driving on long road trips. This is not including normal driving like to and from a restaurant, store, barn, etc. This is just to and from Montana and different parts of Canada.

Having spent this much time on the road, I have had more than a few encounters with really really bad drivers. I’m talking, get off the road, wake up, quit texting…that sort of thing. I’m not an aggressive road rager, I’m passive aggressive road rager. So, I complain about these people on cyberspace.

To the minivan that slowed traffic by sitting next to a semi going 70 mph in a 75 mph zone:

The SEMI was in the right lane, the correct lane for going under the maximum speed. This is the slow lane. You were going slow in the fast lane and making a line of 8 cars wait for you to pass the semi. You made us wait for 17 miles. I have all the patience in the world but I think it’s more than fair to ask that you learn to drive.

By the way, sitting next to a semi is stupid, especially when you are going 70 mph. If s/he blows a tire s/he’ll make you look like one of the 9 June bugs I squashed while writing this post.


To the truck tail-gaiting me while I was in a line of cars and unable to change lanes:

What were you doing? Did you have a point or some sort of request? Perhaps you were hitting on me or maybe you have a spatial distance issue. Either way, I COULDN’T GO ANYWHERE. Get off my tail, when I have no where to go. I am not going to tail-gate for you. I don’t tail-gate. Oh and your Ford F150 is in my opinion, only KIND OF a truck.


To the motorcycle that passed me on the left SHOULDER:

STOP IT! You scared the daylights out of me with that stunt. If you want to kill yourself like that, perhaps you should. But don’t do it in front of me. I don’t want to have to stop and call the police and wait with your dead body parts. You could have waited for me to pass the line of cars on my right and I would have moved over for you. I am happy to move over for people to pass just as long as I am able to do so.


To the guy that tried to cut off the semi that was moving over:

Did you get a little scared when he almost knocked you off the road? GOOD!!! He had the right of way, I know because I was behind you when you tried to cut him off. That had to be one of the stupidest moves I’ve seen on the road. You should be thankful he actually saw you chose not to teach you a lesson.


To the woman going 60 mph in a 75 mph zone IN THE LEFT LANE:

Lady you are a hazard on the road. Get off the interstates. The interstate is for moving fast from one place to the next, not for a slow Sunday drive. Going slow like that in the fast lane is very very dangerous! In fact, it is illegal on the Autobahn. Do you not see everyone whizzing by you at 80 mph in the right lane? Doesn’t that just FEEL WRONG? Many many times, if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.


To the kid that was texting:

Dude, your speed control was off the chain. You varied about 20 mph, you tail-gated me through road construction, you’d lose me when I was able to move over and then I passed you again. And then you passed me again. And then I thought I’d seen the last of you but I passed you while you were pulled over by the Highway Patrol. Quit texting! I hope you enjoyed your ticket. I’ll bet you were going at least 15 miles over the speed limit and probably never saw the cop until he was tail-gating you with his lights on.


So now that I’ve ranted a bit about bad drivers, I’ll say that I actually did have some good driving. Good weather, no car issues. A lot of people freak out over the thought of driving for long periods of time. I actually dated someone once that thought a four hour drive was long enough to necessitate switching drivers part way through.

Long distance driving is really not that big of a deal. You make sure your vehicle is up to date on maintenance, you fill up your windshield wiper fluid, make sure your tires have air, make sure to have a spare and just go.

Driving is easy. Don’t drive faster than you can slow down and stop, don’t take chances, respect trucks with trailers and semis. Don’t drive when you are tired. I am lucky, I can’t fall asleep sitting up. My limit for driving before I need to call it a day is about 12 hours.

I have had a cowboy hat sitting in my back window since I went to MT. It’s just been sitting there but I think it’s found its new home. Ever since I did that, people let me merge more. I don’t really understand why. But lots of people let me merge and wave hello at me. I'll go with it.